It’s true, I am my own harshest critic but tonight even my biggest culinary fan (my partner) agreed after a bit of prodding with a sharp stick that this was one of my worst meals ever.
I read other people’s food blogs sometimes and they seem to turn out these perfect beautifully photographed dishes all the time. How, I want to know???
For me cooking is a huge experiment and while these days I am better at it and have more hits than misses, occasionally there are days like these.
It started well enough- a dozen beef ribs from Superbutcher. I’d never been there before-it’s out of my lazy metro-centric 2km radius. They looked good, but after overnight marinading then a slow 12 hr cooking, they should have been fab but weren’t. They were tough.
Mistake two was forgoing my usual knife for a mandoline- a piece of equipment the salesperson told me had been ‘selling like hotcakes since they used it on Masterchef.” I bought it today and it will probably sit in the ‘shit kitchen stuff I’ve bought’ drawer until my next mass clean up. Without veering too much from the subject- the mandolin was ugly, bulky and hard to use. Unless you used exactly the same pressure each time the thinness of the sweet potato crisps varied. Some were thicker, some were thin little bits. (There’s a market- I reckon they were designed by men who a) tend to be physically stronger and b) spend far less time in the kitchen and thus aren’t as pissed off by crappy ‘tools’ as women who still despite everything use them much more often)
In the end, I thought I might as well chuck the broccoli on top of the ribs which were under foil in the slowest part of the oven to cook thinking they might steam and absorb some of the flavours.
So basically tonight’s dinner was sweet potato crisps that looked like those bits of skin from the bottom of your feet when you or your podiatrist use that razor blade thingy, ribs which had shrunken and fallen off the bone (not in a good way-even the dog spent a while thinking about whether she’d give them a go, tried them and gave up) and the broccoli was sort of khaki and oil infused.
A fail whale of a dinner as the almost 13 year old agreed.
Anyway, would love to hear about your worst home cooking experience if you’d deign to share. It’ d make me feel better to know that I’m not alone