Sushi.  You’re way past your best. Like a middle aged man in a Ramone’s t-shirt, you try to disguise your lack of youth with fancy dressing but the kewpie mayo can’t hide the home brand tuna and borderline `best before’ lettuce. In your natural state you shine, glistening with fresh fish sliced by experts and rice cooked to OCD perfection, but here, like a fish out of water, you’re starting to stink.

Dude Food. The same guy in marketing who coined ‘yummy mummy’ and ‘chick flick’  came up with this. If I ever find him, I may be tempted to beat him to death with a Terms of Endearment DVD. 

Fish tacos. Enough already. It’s fish. In a taco. Actually faux Mexican anything should be banned. It’s dumbing down (sushi-ising?) a noble and highly regional cuisine. 

Pulled pork. Ditto. Everyone’s doing it. Yawn. 

Food Franchises. We’re showing our red necks, getting all hot and bothered about southern chains opening branches here. Why wouldn’t they? We’ll stand patiently in line and parrot whatever cool marketing brainwash we’ve been fed. Brisbane doesn’t get these second branches cos it’s COOL ENOUGH but DUMB ENOUGH. We’re the colonial outpost, rushing to exchange our conch shells for a burger or fajita.

There’s more. So much more. I just can’t think of any right now, so please dear readers, tell me what you’re fed up to the wisdom teeth with.